The bathtub’s the bridge and you’ve got the helm
Hot water burns, it overwhelms
You’ve got control of the shower head
So lather me up, warp speed ahead

Come on and suds me up, Sulu

I feel so dirty all covered in grunge
Get the captain’s toupee, I need a sponge
Cause you’ve had a long day, I smell your rank
Let's scrub ourselves spic and span, give each other a spank

No one else on this filthy ship
Can stay on course like you do
No one else can navigate a wormhole
As clean as you do

Start at my head and move to my feet
You can be the admiral and I’ll be your fleet
Rinse and repeat

Come on and rinse and repeat, Sulu